Mom, This year is particularly trying without you. You wouldn't believe what has happened to the world since you left. Six years ago... A new president has been elected twice since you have left. The first woman VP! But there's a bad thing. A pandemic. People are sick and dying everywhere, hate has taken over the people and the world has just gone to hell. I have been scared for a long time now, almost a year since people started getting it. The air feels like it did when you left. No snow as of this thought, but I'm sure it's coming. I hope you can hear me when I talk to you. I have so much to tell you, so much to ask you, and I hate myself for not asking you more about life, while you still had yours. I don't know what to do with myself. I watch that old video to hear you talk. I get sad when I hear you say "whatcha doing, Manda?" It's a recording. I can't answer you. It's so hard, mom. I miss you so bad. Please take care of the family, and most importantly, your soul. I am tired from crying. I know it won't bring you back but I still cry. I know you are somewhere beautiful now. Hugs and kisses, you are thought of several times a day. Maybe even several times an hour. Sleep tight mom. Until next time, Love you. Amanda

Dear mom, How can it be 5 years already? I knew you were ready to fly. I knew how bad you hurt. I knew that the last stroke was going to take you. But like I told aunt Cheryl, you're in good hands. With all the loved ones who already went. And have since joined you. I hope you're finally getting to spend the missed earthly time with them. I have missed you so much, mom. Words can't even begin to describe the hurt that will be in my heart until we meet again. It's been so difficult without you, but look ma! I did it. I didn't think it was possible. I wish there were phones in heaven, so I could tell you everything. This year I hope you rest easier knowing I helped solve that big mystery. I pray that you're not mad at me for messing things up sometimes. I also hope you understand why I needed to do the things I've done. I only had you for 26 years. But in those 26 years, you taught me a lifetime of wisdom. You taught me to keep going when times are trying. And best believe mom, that I tell stories to people who never had the gift of knowing you. A lot of people have said they know they missed out. There's never going to be another Sheila with her 1990 Plymouth Acclaim. Who loves kids, her own and others. Another mad bingo player lol. I think of you multiple times a day. When I drink a coke, it takes me back to being young, and stealing yours so I could have a big drink. I thought you didn't notice, but you did. I hope you're proud of the recipes I make, they are almost as good as yours!! You would have loved my turkey breast this year. I feel you behind me when I struggle. I see and hear the signs you leave me, especially when I'm very down on myself. People tell me that I can't let your passing rule me, but they don't understand how much you molded me and loved me in no way that anyone else can. Mostly, I miss your laughter. Your smile. Even when you were very sick, your smile made me smile. 5 years ago. We heard you leaving. You crept out the door when you knew we all fell asleep. Thank you for that mom. Thank you for being my mom. I was a handful, and so were the others. But you loved us extra hard when we were. With everyday that passes, I wonder what you'd be doing, or saying. So fly high momma. Please continue to keep a watchful eye over us. I know I'll see you again, but it hurts so bad without you. Give the brothers and everyone else and kiss and hug from me. It's not a happy time for me, but it has to be for you. 5 years with your beautiful wings. I love love love you mom. Amanda

Mom, Man, I miss being able to say that word. I still hurt everyday that you're gone. But , I know you're around me. I hope you're proud of us .Walter got his hs diploma...can you believe it? I always wonder what you're doing up in Heaven. I hope you are having fun . I bet you're making a big Easter dinner! I'd give just about anything for one of your dinners. I miss you . Happy Easter momma, you're always in my heart . May God be with you . And all of us. Hugs and kisses Amanda